Chiropractic Top Ten
The Top 10 Reasons NOT to Try Chiropractic Care!
10. “I like my left shoulder higher than my right.”
You’re not alone. Whenever I’m in a public place, I can’t help noticing how out of balance many people are. I know a great tailor who can cover it up for you.
9. “The tingling and numbness in my fingers is actually starting to feel good.”
Great, get used to it. It will get worse. Maybe, if you’re lucky, you’ll have surgery to correct it someday.
8. “These headaches I have every day are normal! They say so on TV!”
And the drug companies are very glad you are listening to them. Without your help they would not be making multi-billian dollars of profits from over-the-counter drugs.
7. “Real doctors give people shots.”
Most doctors of chiropractic give people shots…of hope and enthusiasm that maybe there is a reason and a solution to their problems that 10 doctors and 20 prescriptions have not fixed.
6. “My mom/dad/brother/sister/friend/neighbour doesn’t believe in chiropractors.”
Not to worry! Any chiropractor would be willing to give anyone a demonstration that we are real! You don’t even have to make an appointment, just drop by any chiropractor’s office and ask if you can touch the doctor!
5. “The neighbour of a friend of a guy I work with said his aunt’s sister-in-law’s older brother was hurt by a chiropractor.”
Who is this person? Does he even exist? And let’s not get into how many people die in hospitals from something they didn’t have when they checked in. I will compare the actual cost of my malpractice premium with any other medical practitioner.
4. “These pills make me feel good. What was the question?”
As long as you aren’t using your brain anyway, don’t worry if it doesn’t function with those drugs. Nobody will miss your insights into living to your full potential.
3. “Back spasms are a great excuse for why I missed that 3 foot putt.”
Muscle spasms are merely a symptom of a much larger underlying problem. A thorough examination is necessary to uncover the cause of the problem, then correct it.
2. “My neck feels fine, so what if I can’t turn to the left. It’ll get better.”
Yeah, right about the time you get hit by a car coming from the left when you’re taking one of those three right turns to go round the block. Chiropractic helps restore full motion and improves that field of view.
And now, the number one reason not to try chiropractic . . .
1. “Surgery makes more sense to me. I’ve already had my gallbladder out. Who needs all these organs anyway?”
You’re right. A poor design. We can improve it by removing all the internal parts and replacing them with plastic and use pills to keep the pain at bay. Of course, there’s always more money to be made in fixing a broken car than in regular maintenance. I’m just one of those crazy people who believes in changing the oil before the engine blows up!